Tuesday, September 8, 2009

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night...

...which is how Snoopy perennially starts the novel he attempts to write from the roof of his doghouse.

Day One - Grad Writes A Novel:

I placed my laptop on the table in the breakfast room - the sunniest place in the house. It has a view that used to be quite lovely. That was back in the days when I had just learned to garden and threw myself into it with a frenzy. I planted and read and mulched. I deadheaded and weeded, misted and watered. Whatever I touched blossomed and thrived. Then something happened to my magic touch. The view is still green, but invasive vines seem to have choked out all the flowers, except for the Confederate Jasmine and Carolina Jessamine that have grown heavily over the arbor.

I cleaned the breakfast room windows at the beginning of the summer, except for one. A large, striped spider (a huge spider - the size of my palm) had built a magnificent web over that one and I didn't want to disturb it. My children have begged me to get rid of Flash Too (her name), but I'll have to wait until I have the time to catch her in a glass and transport her to the back of the yard (where she should have spun her web in the first place - like Flash One did several years before). One would think she could have picked a better piece of real estate - safety-wise. But I think she rather likes sunning herself.

Okay, so, hands on the keyboard. But, first I decided a pot of tea on the table would benefit the flow of thoughts (which I was certain would come fast and furious) and so off to the pantry. What kind of tea? There's Raspberry Lemon, Red Zinger, Earl Grey, Sleepytime (no, bad choice), English Breakfast. What's in that canister over in the corner? Oh, Apricot Tangerine. Just think I'll rearrange the middle shelf as long as I'm standing here. Why isn't all the tea in one place, the coffee in another, the canned goods arranged by type? The empty storage containers should be in the cabinet near the fridge, not in the pantry.

So, an hour later and I've forgotten that I wanted to brew a pot of tea. The pantry is in order. Back to the table, hands on keyboard.

Did I remember to pay the guy that cuts the lawn? The front yard looks truly awful and needs edging and mowing. I'm afraid my neighbors are talking about it. I'll just give him a call. Did I pay you? Will you come on Tuesday? In that case, should I tape the check to the door? No? Mail will do? I'll stop by the post office on my way to work on Tuesday. Thank you, thank you.

Let's see, I was in the middle of something. The laundry? The laundry!! I ran out of laundry detergent. Must run to the grocery store before I forget. They are having a sale on turkey breast, I think. So, let's see - turkey breast, stuffing mix, onions, chicken broth. We'll have Thanksgiving dinner in September! The leftovers will make great pita sandwiches during the week. Get pita bread, avocado, lettuce and tomatoes.

End of Day One of Grad Writes A Novel. At this pace, I should be published very soon.


  1. Perfect! I am very pleased to inform you, Grad, that you have passed Day One of novel-writing with flying colours! Your 'Procrastination 1.01' merit certificate is in the mail!

  2. Hi Grad, I sent an email to you about the Slaves--about choosing the next book. At least I think it was your email--I didn't mark things well in my address book...if you didn't get it please let me know and I can send it again (to the right place this time!). Thanks! (danielle_torres@hotmail.com)

  3. Di, you have no idea how honored I am. "I accept this award from the academy..." and I will frame my certificate and hang it in my breakfast room, on the newly painted Nantucket Gray walls!

    Danielle, I'll go check right now. I'm sorry I didn't get to read Dance Night - I'm going to do better next time.

  4. Love it. My DH is in fact going away for a few days (away from all distractions, no internet service, etc.) so he can GET HIS DISSERTATION written. Or, at least partially written. It really is so hard to buckle down sometimes! But at least you're entertaining your blog readers in the process. :)

    By the way, as a means of more distraction, I tagged you for something over at my blog!

  5. You are off to a great start! Pretty soon your house will sparkle and your garden will be back in its former Eden-esque glory. Then you will have no choice but to write. It will all work out in the end, don't worry :)

  6. Janell, thanks. Hope DH makes some progress...heading your way to see your tag.

    Stefanie, with any luck at all I'll come up with SOMETHING to keep me from my appointed task.